Yes – YES! already – I need to go on a diet.
I need to lose weight because:
A) I’m fat.
2) A certain someone else is on a diet, and because of that, apparently I’m even fatter than I was yesterday.
It won’t be a diet where I have to count things. I don’t like counting, and besides, I suspect someone else is already, secretly doing that for me.
Nor will it be the 365 Ways To Make Chicken And Pretend That It Tastes Good Diet.
I won't be buying food through the mail or attending support groups or spending a lot of time complaining that I'm on a diet. I'm just going to, quietly, not eat so much.
Thought: If I had to eat a bacon cheeseburger with low-fat ground beef, turkey bacon and light cheese I wouldn’t eat bacon cheeseburgers at all. I think I prefer not eating something to eating something that pretends to be something I actually like. At least my treasured memories will remain intact.
Fruit – check. Veggies – yup. Water – sure, bring me a bucket. Candy bars and Cheetos - fat chance! Got it.
There shall be exercise, but I don't care to talk about that.
There will be pizza on occasion; there will just be less of it. If I have to give up pizza all together, then the terrorists have won. Eat free or die!
I'm hoping to lose somewhere between 10 and 13 3/4 lbs. in Phase I, which will either begin or end on President's Day, I'll have to get back to you on that.
PS -- So you know: Turkey “bacon” isn’t a real thing. Turkey is turkey and bacon is something else.