You’re four months old now, which means you’ll be having children of your own soon. I want to share with you some nuggets of sage wisdom passed down for generations, and a few things I thought of this afternoon while mowing the grass.
This is important, so let’s watch the kitty later, OK? Ready? Yes, I see the ceiling fan. Here goes, Lucas. Lucas? Listen to grandpa now.
Alright, maybe you’ll read this a little later.
1. A “really good” job is one where you’re overpaid for what you do, you get to make your own hours and shoes are optional. The rest are just OK jobs.
1. A “really good” job is one where you’re overpaid for what you do, you get to make your own hours and shoes are optional. The rest are just OK jobs.
2. You don’t have to wait an hour after eating before going into the pool, that’s just something moms made up so they could go in the house for another Long Island. The running with scissors thing, however, is true: you should always wait until at least an hour after eating.
3. Never let the oil change place up-sell you. Your hubcaps don’t need rotating, or whatever they made up at their staff meeting that morning.
4. Extended warranties are for sissies.
5. If the question is, “Does this hat look silly,” the answer is invariably, “Yes it does.”
6. Nobody really knows what “icing” means. In hockey, they make up the rules as they go.
7. The special probably isn’t.
8. Never make an important decision based on advice you got in a bar or a bait shop.
9. Always listen to old people, and never make fun of them until they leave the room.
10. Buy yourself a dozen identical pairs of black socks. You won’t regret it.
Lucas List No. 1: Some Things You Should Know