Welcome back to the Westminster Dog Show. I’m Howard Von Snout here with Claudia Piddles to bring you live commentary of this year’s show from Madison Square Garden.
We’ve just seen some of the best examples of the working class breeds. Coming up a little later tonight are the upper-middle class breeds, including the newest hybrid dog in the competition, the Schnoodle-pit-huahua-retriever.
But first, we're going to bring you the exciting rare breeds that you've all been waiting for.
And here they come now.
First up is a Klutzsteiner. These dogs are a delicate breed prone to tripping over their own four paws. Ouch, there he goes now, true to form. These little ankle biters should probably wear a helmet, Claudia.
Over here, Howard, is a Guatemalan Smiling Dog, a deceptively named breed. Powerful for its small stature, a “Smiley's” trademark expression is more of a snarl. They are cute little guys, but don’t turn your back on them. They’ve been known to kill their master in his sleep.
And here comes Stoner, the Jamaican ganja retriever, Claudia. Everybody loves the “Jammers.” These dogs are the life of the party. Notice how he struts in slow motion – he's not taking this seriously at all. These dogs make terrific family pets, but they do have an insatiable appetite for Cheetos and never chip in for gas money.
Yea, and don’t try to take them for a walk before noon, Howard.
Up next is the long-haired French Fufu Pookie. “FuPoos” are renown companion dogs, especially adapted to city living. They are a high-maintenance breed and aren’t for everybody. They require constant praise, generally in annoying baby talk, and never wear the same sweater two days in a row.
Here’s a brand new entry to the show. Talk about rare, Howard: It’s a Tibetan Yak Nipper. These are tough little dogs known for their fierce loyalty to their master, but a deep-seeded hatred of all other human beings. “Yippers” make excellent companions for really mean people. My ex has two.
Claudia, if I could interrupt, I see a Dutch Doofus entering the ring -- and I’m not talking about my brother-in-law Henrick - just kidding. “DuDos” are a handsome, if not particularly intelligent breed. They were bred by the Grand Dukes of Luxembourg, primarily as doorstops. Look at him chasing his tail, Claudia. That’s one dumb pooch.
Dumb as a box of Milkbones, Howard. Not you, the dog. But if you want to see a truly pitiful species, check out the mutts coming up next in the Unfortunate Cross-breeding Category. Wait till you see these furry freaks. But first, a word from our sponsor...