Life in The HUp Lane
Distracted drivers are now the rule, not the exception. If the Pope got behind the wheel of the Popemobile, we would no doubt see him texting, juggling a McMuffin and iced cap, and fiddling with his Tom Tom (not in an unholy way). Not to mention occasionally sprinkling water on the gathered flock.
It is folly to criminalize the behavior of the masses (not the pope kind of masses, but, well, you know what I mean). Instead can’t we just build highways to accommodate the new norm? It’s just lazy engineering, if you ask me. What could it cost to add some padded guardrails, rumble strips between lanes and roundabouts so people with more important things to do can circle until they press SEND without being distracted by traffic signals?
Big cities have High Occupancy Vehicle (HOV) lanes. Isn’t it time for the Head-Up-A## (HUP) lane?
I Have Doubts
Insert rimshots where appropriate.
I choose not to believe in gravity, my mind is made up, so just go sell your socialist agenda somewhere else – I’m not buying it.
I’m skeptical of the “labradoodle.” Sounds to me like a shoddy breeder left the back gate open then found a clever way to profit from his carelessness.
Don’t get me started on grapples. Like we really need an apple that tastes like a grape. Make me brussels sprouts that taste like bacon, then I’ll be impressed.
In Michigan, they have yellow, flashing turn signals. Is that not the epitome of pointlessness?
Founding Typo
As a strict constitutionalist, I insist on spelling Pennsylvania with one “n.” Also, I Spell random words with capital Letters.